Being a parent is not an easy task.
There is no one-size-fits-all method of childrearing; each family has its own set of beliefs, customs, and guidelines.
However, a lot of Reddit users expressed strong feelings regarding a mother’s choice to stop hugging her daughter.
The mother expresses her viewpoint.
A 37-year-old mother opened out about a recent predicament involving her small daughter on Reddit’s “Am I The A*****e” thread.
She wrote in her article, “My daughter is very small for her age and as a result gets treated like a younger child sometimes.”
The mother went on to say, “She loves climbing into my or my [husband’s] lap for cuddles on the couch or in a chair.” She acknowledged that she had begun to wonder if her daughter was “too old” for such behavior and if permitting it would potentially be more detrimental than beneficial.
Only a day before the woman told her testimony, the incident took place.
“I told her she was too old for that and to get off me,” the mother said in response to her 11-year-old daughter’s effort to get onto her lap for a cuddle. Evidently distressed, the child left her lap, withdrew to her room, and shut the door.
Since then, there has been a discernible tension in the home as the daughter has stopped requesting cuddles. The woman said, “She doesn’t talk to me unless she has to, and she didn’t give me a hug back when I said goodnight to her last night.”
The mother, feeling torn and guilty over offending her daughter, sought guidance on Reddit. In an attempt to find out if she had been at fault, she said, “I feel really guilty because I obviously hurt her feelings but I feel like she might be too old for sitting on my lap.”
What Was Said on the Internet?
The mother was quickly branded as “the a*****e” on the internet in this situation, and many users chastised her for ignoring what they perceived to be priceless moments of bonding with her baby. Her narrative received a lot of negative feedback overall.
She won’t want to hold you for very long. You might yet have a year to go. And instead of cherishing that time, you’re wasting it,” one user noted.
“There’s nothing wrong with guiding a child toward age-appropriate behaviors or expressing that something no longer feels comfortable for you—that’s part of helping them grow,” said another commenter, providing a more nuanced viewpoint. However, it’s important to guide them toward appropriate behavior and reassure them that your love for them is unchanging even while the relationship is changing.
“If you told her to ‘Get off’ with no warning, it’s no wonder why she perceived that as rejection and is now completely confused as to what sort of physical affection is ok or will get her snapped at,” one commenter noted, highlighting the emotional impact of the mother’s quick response.
To highlight the lasting value of parental love, another member posted a heartwarming example: “I work at a nursing home.” Every week, a 78-year-old man comes to see his 99-year-old mother. They hold each other, and it makes them both happy, even if she has dementia. Your yearning for your parents’ love and affection never goes away.
