It was one of the few occasions when my dad, my stepmother, and even my stepmother’s parents were all present. Everyone was attempting to maintain a friendly atmosphere, akin to one of those “ideal family dinner” occasions where you’re expected to eat, smile, and act as though nothing is difficult.
But it’s always complicated for me.
Even though a lot of things have changed in my life since my mother’s death years ago, she still plays a significant role in who I am. I miss her more on some days than others, especially when it’s so clear she’s not present at family get-togethers.
I wore the earrings she gave me before she passed away that evening. I wear them frequently because they give me a sense of intimacy, as if I’m carrying a small part of her with me. I didn’t expect anyone would be aware of it.
Then, after dinner, my stepmother’s parents asked, “Where did you get those lovely earrings?” with a smile.
“My mom gave them to me before she passed away,” I softly said. To feel closer to her, I wear them every day.
Calmly, I stated it. Nothing dramatic. Only the truth.
However, my stepmother promptly and loudly jumped in, saying, “She’s no longer your mom! You were brought up by me.
There was silence at the table.
I chuckled, more incredulously than humorously, and asked, “Are you trying to pretend you care about me? when you’re not performing well.”
Her face sank at once. She got up and walked out of the room.
My father later drew me aside and informed me that I had made her feel ashamed in front of everyone. She is now telling him that I need to “move on,” that I’m “stuck in the past,” and that I make her feel unwelcome. Additionally, my dad is putting pressure on me to maintain harmony, essentially telling me to pretend that my mother is no longer important.
However, that is not how I view it. I’m not reluctant to move on because I’m thinking about my mother. It only indicates that I refuse to remove her.
I’m left thinking, though: was she the one who went too far, or was I truly unjust?
